Midlife can and should be a powerful, transformational time of your life but you’re going to have to look at what some call a crisis in a much different way. Here’s how to turn crisis to creativity and transform everything to aim you toward the life you’ve always craved.
First of all, amen to those finally willing to do what they need to do to feel good about their lives, no matter when that is. Midlife, later life, whenever; there’s no bad time to redirect things toward more joy and fulfillment. But midlife can be a scary time to make big changes. So how can we create a transformation without feeling like everything’s going to fall apart?
When I decided, at midlife, that a divorce was what it was going to take to experience the freedom and joy I craved, everything inside of me went haywire. The inner critic voice was louder than it had ever been and I was feeling the pain of what I thought might be the consequences of making that decision. Turns out what I thought about what would happen and what I made that mean, was far worse than actually doing it and getting to the other side.
Worrying about doing it is so much worse than actually doing it.
When you’re spending much of your time in feelings of resentment, regret, sadness, doubt and fear, it’s time to do something about it, not sit around wondering, wishing and hoping for it to change. You have to be the one who creates the change. The way to a powerful, transformational midlife is to connect with your desires, and go for more joy, in every way possible.
Problem is we’re taught to settle. We’re taught not to want more than we need and that wanting more is greedy. And even when it comes to our own happiness, were taught to put that aside in order to make others happy, or like us.
If you’ve arrived at midlife sick and tired of people pleasing, living life on everyone else’s terms or settling for a less that fiercely alive life, and are burned out from it, I’m here to tell you that with awareness, and courage, you can have a completely different life. But only if you’re willing to make the necessary changes.
When you’re at the midlife point you have a lot going for you. You have wisdom and experience. You have perspective. And you may have a yearning for making the most out of what you have left. Midlife has this way of creating a crisis in people because when you get to a certain age that means you’ve probably lived more than half your life, and you start wondering about big things. Like the meaning of your existence. Like purpose. Like experiencing bigger love.
This is a good thing. But it can feel really painful if when you get to that point you’re also realizing how far you are from experiencing some of those important things.
But here’s where everything can change. Instead of resigning yourself to the life you have, the one that feels less than good or that’s started to feel a bit constrained and less purposeful, you can reboot, realign and turn what most people call a crisis into one big, badass transformation. You’re going to need to be brave though. I know you’re ready.
Here are 5 ways to embrace midlife and create transformation from crisis:
- Start a practice of awareness. This will need to be of both the body and the mind. There are many different ways to practice, but it’s through awareness that you’ll have a choice to aim your life at something that feels good. Feeling is healing. Unless you get good at feeling, nothing will change.
- Understand your desires. Many folks live an entire lifetime going after things they were taught they should want. But…what do you really want in this life? It’s a big, scary question that must be explored to make your transformation. Start by doing some journaling on this topic and practice that every day until you begin to feel some clarity. It may take a while if your life has been about everyone else but yourself. But it’s worth the journey.
- Start being yourself. Again, if you’ve lived a life aimed at others liking you and feeling satisfaction in that, then you may have realized by now that the authentic you has been hiding for a really long time. Our worth is tied up in what others think, instead of being about our simple existence. News flash; you were born, so you’re worthy – just the way you are. You’ll need to start living into the real you now. And doing that will help everything else shift toward the life you crave; one that feels good and purposeful every single day.
- Say no to what doesn’t feel good. One of the most important steps in this transformation will be to know what feels good and what doesn’t and to start saying no to what doesn’t vibe with your soul. Your body tells you. That’s why the awareness is the first step. When you’re good at feeling you’ll know when things are a “No.” And you must start to actually say no when you mean no. Be unapologetic about this.
- Go for the joy. This sounds so simple, but it can be complicated and scary. If you’ve lived a life serving everyone else, and haven’t been in touch with your body, mind, soul or desires, then going for your own joy feels like a luxury, or greedy at first. But here’s another news flash; this is your life and it’s time to live it exactly as you see fit. It’s time to be brave and go for the things that bring you the most joy, love, and gratitude. And it’s time to do that without caring about what anyone else thinks. Because in the end, it’s what you think, and how you feel that matters.
If you’re interested in a guide to get you from 1 to 5, I’ve written a brand new book called Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey. I’ll explain how each of these steps is explored in a way that helps you gain awareness and courage and finally go for the life you crave. It’s not to late to take this journey to your soul and create an amazing transformation. It’s never too late to move toward more love, gratitude and joy.
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About the Author:
Laura Di Franco, MPT is the owner of Brave Healer Productions. She’s a published poet and author, inspirational speaker, holistic physical therapist and third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do with over two decades of experience in healing. Praised as “our favorite class” by The Writer’s Center, her brave, intuitive writing and healing workshops are the reason she was born. She helps healers get their badass, authentic voice published in order to heal the world with their words. Her new book is called Brave Healing; a Guide for Your Journey.